Legendary Fruitcakes

Luke Antinone, Reporter

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Ever since I was a kid, I always noticed fruitcake being thrown out in cartoons. However, my family bought quite a few this holiday season since they were on sale. Being slightly allergic to nuts, I’ve never been able to give my opinion on the taste. But I know one thing for sure, it sure doesn’t look too appealing.

Not only that, but I’ve also heard the claim that it’s indestructible. Fruit cake is hard as a brick and never expires (because it was never fresh). Recently, it has been brought up to me that a fruit cake could survive a nuclear explosion like a Twinkie, supporting the possibility of fruit cake being indestructible.

Fruitcakes are legendary, they date all the way back to the Middle Ages, even ancient Rome, being made with ingredients such as honey and spices. If we went back and made fruit cake the way it used to be, it would probably taste awful to us. Is it even safe to say that modern day fruit cake isn’t even real fruit cake? Maybe it’s an adaptation of fruit cake, since most cakes are artificial at this point. It’s almost a whole new holiday dessert.

Besides, with all of the other desserts this time of year, like cookies and fudge, fruit cake just sounds less appealing to me. I predict that fruit cake will be the least popular dessert (if it isn’t already) within the next ten years. The current generation doesn’t seem fond of fruitcakes as the older generations have been. The world has a bigger variety, of better, sweeter desserts in the modern day. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll have something better than cookies.

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