Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

Kyle Costello, Reporter

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






You know what really dads my bod? When hooligans, also known as vegans, try to ruin Thanksgiving with their tofu turkeys. Thanksgiving is a time for pigging out on various kinds of turkey like roasted turkey, fried turkey, or even turkey stuffed with other birds. However you like your turkey vegans will find a way to ruin it with their substitutes that are abominations to the holiday.

Vegans find a way to ruin everything if I really think about it. Meat is the definition of America. You know what’s not the definition of America…those green things that grow out of the ground. They may be a fundamental part of our diet but that doesn’t mean they take over our holidays and ruin them completely. I think green bean casserole is cool and all but that doesn’t mean that those certain side dishes should take over the whole table. The turkey needs to be the big deal of the whole holiday. That’s why those vegans need to be stopped.

Vegans first started to emerge in the beginning of time when they thought it would be cool to not eat anything out of an animal and act as if they’re different. Later they found out that nobody liked their idea and shunned them from the village. That’s how they are today. Nobody likes them and they aren’t welcomed in life. They thought they could make an association called PETA but nobody bats one eye at them. On Twitter they try to get people’s attention by tweeting ridiculous things but who cares about those. Overall Earth isn’t a place for vegans.

Thanksgiving is a time for us to join with friends and family to eat a large bird and then various sides until we eat so much that we pretty much die. That type of holiday is not for vegans. Think about it were there actually any dinguses at the first Thanksgiving that didn’t eat the turkey.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    The Women’s March

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Exclusive Interview: IN CASE OF FIRE

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Kyle’s Korner: Christmas Music

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Three Christmas Classics

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Legendary Fruitcakes

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Holiday Lush Product Releases

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    How to Prep for Makeup

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Recap of September

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Presidential Debate or Snapchat Feud?

  • Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey

    Carousel (ALL)

    Relay for Life Return?

Kyle’s Korner: Tofu Turkey