Kyle’s Korner: Christmas Music

Kyle Costello, Reporter

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You know what really assumes my gender? People who hate Christmas music. How could you? It’s the only time of the year where I can listen to Michael Bublé in the shower and not have my mom tell me to turn down that racket. Christmas music is the definition of the Christmas spirit. That’s one of the easiest ways to put you into the Christmas spirit.

Just think about it. All your Christmas activities revolve around Christmas music. When you’re making Christmas cookies while your mother tries to help but she’s not really helping because she drank too much wine earlier in the night and she’s just making a mess now, there’s Christmas music playing in the background. Or when you’re out in the woods looking to find the perfect Christmas tree to cut down and you go to chop it but a squirrel attacks you because that tree is its home, there’s Christmas music playing in the background. Either way, anything you do from November 27th to December 26th will always have Christmas music playing in the background.

But forreals though, what dingus could possibly listen to Christmas music and not be a cheerful, loving, fruitcake of a person? It’s just some of the most meaningful, purposeful, and merry lyrics ever written. Only party poopers would go all of December and not crack a smile or shed at least one tear while listening to “Christmas Shoes”. I’ve cried man tears to that song before and it’s not a pretty sight. If you’re not listening Christmas music during the holiday season, what are you really listening to?

Seriously? No other genre of music is worth listening to during this time. You don’t see any Grammy nominated albums come out during this part of this year because they know it’s not just worth it because nobody will care. If you’re not listening to Christmas music, you’re the type of person who thinks “Closer” is still a relevant song.

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